Talking about mental health

19 07 2012

Everybody’s talking about mental health at the moment. One in four people will experience mental health problems at some point in their life, yet there is still a strong stigma attached to admitting to having mental health issues. 

Last month, in a bid to break the cycle of silence surrounding mental health, four MPs stood up in the House of Commons to discuss their own experiences to further the debate on tackling prejudices against those with mental health problems. And next week sees the start of a Channel 4 season of programmes called 4 Goes Mad, which aims to challenge discrimination and the mental health stigma.

The campaign Time To Change – which collaborated with Channel 4 on 4 Goes Mad – is led by leading mental health charities Mind and Rethink Mental Illness and aims to raise awareness by getting as many people talking about their  mental health experiences as possible. (You can sign up to the Time to Change pledge to talk campaign here.)

On horsesmouth our environment is anonymous, supportive and safe, which allows people to open up and disclose honestly. Depression and mental illness are therefore huge topics: just searching under ‘depression’ brings up 2,000 relevant mentor profiles.

We see people flourish after finding the support they need, often then feeling encouraged to go on and help others. In March this year, one mentee came to horsesmouth in search of support, writing, ‘I’ve been struggling with mental illness pretty much my whole life. I’ve been misdiagnosed for years. I’m looking for a mentor that I can talk to and can understand where I am coming from.

She formed several close mentoring relationships and last month signed up to be a mentor herself, sending supportive messages to other users and saying, ‘Horsesmouth has helped me tremendously. It’s nice to know you have people that you can talk to.’

Every week we have new mentors who are dealing with mental illness sign up, knowing how vital it is to offer others the opportunity to talk. For instance, h0th3ad, who signed up last month and wants to mentor on depression:

I have been through it and I know how important it is to have someone listen to you and support you. It was the worst years of my life but it’s at the back of my mind if not away from it. I believe everyone suffers from it some time in life but some suffer more than others. I am proof you can change things around with the right support, I want to be that support and the reason to change a person’s life positively.’

Other long-established mentors who have been through the mill of mental illness know how the stigma attached to mental illness can increase the sense of isolation. Mentor jennzenith, 32, says:

Although the stigma of poor mental health is supposedly decreasing, I am aware that those who find themselves living with depression, or caring for someone with depression, can often feel alone. I have experienced both sides of this illness and would love the opportunity to use my experiences to help others.’

Through the simple act of conversation and sharing, the weight of mental health and depression is partly lifted. Follow the conversations on Twitter under #4goesmad #mentalhealthdebate #timetochange. If you need advice and support on dealing with mental health issues, search for a mentor here.





Meet the Mentors – Carers Week.

19 06 2012

It’s Carers Week. We’ve written plenty about carers and caring on this blog before: caring can be hugely rewarding but also extremely challenging, with carers often making huge sacrifices to care for family members or loved ones. Carers Week aims to bring attention to the huge numbers of those caring long hours, struggling to balance their duties with work, unpaid, and the huge numbers of young people who are providing hours of care per week.

Among our mentors we have carers young and old who want to share their experience and advice to help others in the same situation. If you’re seeking support as you provide care to a loved one, maybe a mentor could help?

Clara43, 44, from South Yorkshire
‘I was a young carer for my mum who has mental health problems and after training I set up and managed a young carers project providing emotional and practical support, information, advice and advocacy as well as therapeutic work. Many people when feeling alone and isolated turn to the internet for help. I hope to be a port of call for this.’

Shelley9912, 24, graduate in Forensic Psychology
‘My mother is mentally ill and she requires full-time care. Separate from the fact that my mother is mentally ill I know very well how it is to be a carer. I have sacrificed a lot to look after and help my mother and I know that sometimes those sacrifices that we make can go unnoticed. I know that being a carer can be very daunting at first.’

nicemum, 49, an adopter and birthmum
‘I’ve been a young carer who supported a parent suffering from depression and bereavement and two younger siblings. This is a mighty burden for any child to bear and it is a deeply formative experience, I am happy to talk to any carers out there.’

CateH, 40, a self employed childminder
‘I was a carer for my mum for many years, she had leukemia and dementia so I know how hard it is to be a carer and the need for support. I was my mum’s full time carer having given up work, so I lost a whole way of life. I miss her terribly and know the pain, physical and emotional, that comes with grief.’

carriesyrup, 29, a carer and reiki therapist
‘I look after my mum who has mental health problems, so I am a carer to my mum and also work as a carer for the elderly.  I love what I do and I love helping others. It has made me a better person in myself and now I am at a stage where I can help others through similar situations.’

To contact any of these mentors, simply click ‘contact mentor’ on their profile. If you are new to horsesmouth, you will need to register first – it’s free and easy! To search for other mentors to contact, or to sign up as a mentor yourself, go to our homepage. Good luck and happy mentoring!





Mentor Mondays.

11 06 2012

It’s that time of year! Lots of our new mentors signing up are young mentors, offering advice on school and university life; dealing with exams pressure and stress, choosing courses and applying for university, and dealing with the new way of life that going to university brings, away from home and family.

Here are just a few of the new mentors who have signed up in the last month, just a fraction of the horsesmouth mentors offering advice on this topic, but why not snag a new mentor before someone else does? Let’s meet them.

rhaugh1, 20, about to finish second year studying Psychology at Northumbria University in Newcastle. ‘As someone who has recently encountered the university application process, I am knowledgeable on the procedures involved, what makes a good university application, how to choose a university and how to prepare for course interviews. As a member of my university swim and triathlon team, Psychology Society secretary and an active volunteer inside my university, I am informed of the different opportunities available to students. I am able to provide advice on making the most of university, coping with university work and peer pressures and general welfare.’

DaisyF, 21, just finished third year of a health degree and about to go on to a mental health nursing degree in September. ‘When I originally applied for university, I didn’t reach the grades I needed for the course I had applied for. However, my first choice of university offered me the opportunity to study a different degree with the possibility of transferring to my original course dependent on my grades. Although at first I wasn’t sure, during my first year I realised that my original degree wasn’t really for me and this led me to my future degree. I am so happy that the alternative degree was given as another option and it all happened the way that it did.  This helped me to learn that when something doesn’t go your way, it’s not the end of the world and things will have someway of working out as long as you are willing to try something different and work hard!’

LawUndergrad, a 20 year old Law undergraduate, living in rural Lancashire. ‘I am a young person who has been through school, college and I am now in university. I have experience in deciding a career path, navigating friendships, handling a workload and moving in with housemates for the first time. I would like to mentor on this subject because these issues can seem all encompassing at the time and an objective viewer can often help one realise the issue is not quite as daunting as it initially seems.’

Ads, 27, living in Somerset. ‘I have been through university however I am not naturally good at my studies and I have always had to work hard. I’ve been a D student who turned themselves in to a B student and have overcome many obstacles to do this. I have learnt it is about working on your strengths and taking a logical approach, breaking things down, etc. I have always studied economics and have a general interest in finance. When I graduated from university I was in debt but have since turned this around. I can offer practical advice on this subject.’

To contact any of these mentors, simply click ‘contact mentor’ on their profile. If you are new to horsesmouth, you will need to register first – it’s free and easy! To search for other mentors to contact, or to sign up as a mentor yourself, go to our homepage. Good luck and happy mentoring!





Meet the mentor.

23 05 2012

As part of Dementia Awareness Week, we would like you to meet kennc: a mentor with our partner Living Well With Dementia. He is 62 and has early onset Lewy body dementia. A Dignity Champion, he mentors on horsesmouth to help others and give as much support as possible to everyone on the dementia journey. He agreed to share with us his experiences of mentoring on horsesmouth.

‘When I was told about horsesmouth I really did not know what it was nor did I understand what it was trying to achieve. However it soon became part of my life and I found that as someone with the illness, I could help others, whether they were people with dementia, carers, loved ones, or family friends.’

‘I have helped quite a few people and feel as if I have gained many new friends in return.’

‘This is an independent website where people can go for impartial support and advice about any illness, and no matter what illness you have there is always someone there to help and support you, day and night.’

‘Most of those on this website have experience in one form or another and although dementia is a big topic we always try to help, but do not give medical advice.’

‘The main problem is that although there are around 12 different types of dementia, there are well over 120 variations of the illness and each person goes down a different route and has different symptoms, so no two people with the illness are the same and this causes many problems with people who think that their symptoms don’t match the norm.’

‘I feel that it is sometimes a very good thing to have something like horsesmouth, as we get diagnosed with illness such as dementia and we feel totally numb, and after the diagnosis has sunk in the questions start to come. But there is not always someone around to give you the answers and this is where horsesmouth can come into its own, as there are people there most of the time and quite a few have the illness.’

‘I also feel that many people could enjoy the experience of mentoring and supporting others in their time of need, and when it works well you really get a buzz and a sense of achievement, ‘a job well done’, so I would recommend it to anyone who wants to become a mentor and help others through a difficult time, and usually help yourself in the process.’

‘So if you are willing to help and have the free time why don’t you come and join us?’

Why not take kennc up on on his invitation? You could start a mentoring relationship today that could change your life. Our Living Well With Dementia mentors have a wide range of experience. To read more, and maybe meet your future mentor, click here.





Mentor Mondays.

16 04 2012

As we regularly do on Mentor Mondays, we’d like to share some of our newest mentors who have signed up. These are just a few of the people who have signed up to volunteer their time to mentor with us in the last couple of weeks; great new mentors that we’d like to get out there so the good work can begin! Why not get in there today and drop them a line?

First up, StartUpBuddy – a web entrepreneur with a successful online business, he is experienced in e-commerce, SEO and pay per click. He describes himself as, ‘a little obsessed with entrepreneurship and can’t wait to start a new business’. Maybe he could advise you on how to turn your business idea into reality, or help push your existing business to the next  level?

Seagull54 has 35 years or varied business experience, from senior menagement in multinationals through to directorships of medium sized companies. (£50-100m turnover.) Not only that, but he is a qualified practitioner coach and a Master Practitioner of NLP, Hypnotherapy and timeline therapy. His reason for mentoring? ‘At the age of 57 it is important for me to help people and to make a positive contribution to society.’

mentorBrove is someone we could all use from time to time – the IT guy! With 22 years of experience working in IT with public sector clients, he could be a great mentor to advise on your charity or social enterprise IT requirements. He says, ‘I have enjoyed helping many different clients get the best out of their IT services by ensuring that they understand and meet their business needs.’
And finally, DanniLou95 – a new young mentor, she describes herself as, ‘just your normal 16 year old girl who has been through the typical problems you face through your teenage years!’ She’s offering to share her experience and advise on essential teenaged issues such as friends, school life, exams and young love. Who didn’t need someone to talk to when they were a teenager?
Sign up to become a horsesmouth mentor today! It’s free, anonymous, easy and safe. Let someone else benefit from the lessons you’ve learned and share your wisdom.




Mentoring, the horsesmouth way.

13 04 2012

horsesmouth is where social networking meets social enterprise; where personal contributions create public value; where human capital is unlocked to create social capital. It’s social networking with a purpose. We call it the wisdomocracy. Because it’s free, it’s accessible to all (as long as you’re over 16!) and because it’s anonymous, you can share from the heart. 

What can mentoring do?
Adam attends Alcoholics Anonymous, Bilal runs a business, Chris studies chemistry at college and Diane lives with diabetes. What do they all have in common? They could all share the lessons they’ve learned from experience with fellow horsesmouth members facing the same situation.  If you have successfully faced an important choice, challenge or change in your life – and who hasn’t – you could help people by signing up to be a mentor. And if you’re going through something, getting over something or simply want to get on with something – there’s probably someone out there who’s been in your shoes. Everyone has something to give and gain. That’s why we like to call it the wisdomocracy.

What’s in it for you?
Drawing on your life experiences to help others is rewarding and allows you to breathe the heady air of the moral high ground. But think about it – it’s just like eBay – all that stuff you’ve got locked up in your head that you rarely think about and that no-one really benefits from can now be unlocked and shared with people who will really value it. In short – this is an easy and fun way to give something back. Or if you’re a younger mentor it can be very helpful in building the kind of skills that employers love – listening, problem-solving and learning from experience.  And if you’re competitive – or think you have an aptitude for it – our MFactor rating system allows you to build your reputation as a mentor – which in some way, some day you may well be able to take to the bank.

What’s in it for our community?
Communicating with someone who has been in your shoes can be really helpful, no matter who or where you are. While it may not substitute for professional advice, family or friends, sometimes it’s exactly what you need. But often social, geographic, physical and emotional barriers can make it hard to find that someone. horsesmouth breaks down those barriers to access and allows people all over the UK to come together anonymously and confidentially, to share their life experiences.

As one of our mentors Tom38 says, ‘I remember coming home from work late one night a couple of years ago. I bumped into my neighbour who was also late home. I’d not really spoken to him before, but at 10pm in the dark we stood and talked for half an hour about how things were going, and about life. It turned out we’d both recently lost a parent. He said to me, ‘Everyone has their crosses to bear, it’s how you carry them that counts’. That phrase really stuck with me and it came from someone I didn’t really know.’

‘Life can be tough and it’s not always easy to get advice from someone you know already. I’d like to help in any way I can. I’m 38, old enough to have some good experience of life, but also young enough to feel connected to younger people looking for some advice. I’m a good listener and want to help anyone I can move in the right direction. Mentoring is a great thing and this site is a great idea.’

So what are you waiting for? Sign up to start mentoring today! Or, to benefit from the wisdom of someone who’s going through the same thing as you, why not search for a mentor, or post a request for a mentor? It could be the first step towards changing your life.





Mentor Mondays.

2 04 2012

For today’s Mentor Monday, we want to share three exceptional new mentor profiles, all of whom have all signed up within the last week. Their common message is that they want to use the experience they’ve gained to help someone else: basically the central mission of horsesmouth!

First up: Edge is a successful entrepreneur in the financial sector, with top level experience at The Ford Motor Company, as well as being a published author of both business guides and novels. Impressive, I’m sure you’ll agree!

Of mentoring he says, ‘If I had known the things I know now when I was starting out my life would have been a lot easier and more profitable. We all learn by experience and in truth there is no shortcut. However, I believe that having an experienced person who can advise you and guide you as you go along is invaluable. In my career I have had many triumphs and I have also made my fair share of mistakes, some of which have been costly. As an experienced entrepreneur I should like to try and help others who are starting out avoid some of the business pitfalls that await them. ‘

Fiend85 is 26, and has an abundance of experience, both professional and personal. An engineer, she wants to mentor more women and young people to enter the field, saying, ‘I feel like because I had to work so hard to enter a career in engineering after almost failing my A-levels I could offer a lot of advice and support.’

Bereaved of her mother at a young age, she also wants to mentor others going through the same. ‘Grief and bereavement don’t have rules, they’re frightening and confusing for young people. They don’t know that as well as being sad or angry, they can experience panic attacks, paranoia, nightmares. They could be plunged into serious depressions and feel like self harming or ending their own lives. I want to be there to help them find their way through. Remind them that if they keep going they’ll be ok.’

She also dealt with realising she was gay in her teens, and says, ‘I’d like to help people understand that they were born the way they are, that it’s not their fault, and they don’t need curing.’ A wealth of useful experience just waiting to be tapped into.

Finally, Passioncoach is 53, a mother, accomplished in business strategy and development across global markets, including emerging markets. Of her achievements she says, ‘Early on I discovered that the only limit we have is the one we fix for ourself. I decided that my playing field will have no boundaries.’

So what are you waiting for, get them while they’re hot! These mentors have all signed up within the last week; why not make contact today? You could start the ball rolling on a great mentoring relationship…